Changing Passions

Saturday, October 31, 2020

As of the moment, i'm feeling excited. ๐Ÿงก

So much has happened during Libra season (my birthday month!), from sad and reflective to happy and renewed. I experienced both bored calmness and fulfilling stress during October and each moment helped me realize important things during what i believe to be the best time to do so.

I’m not sure if it was obvious in my last post but i lost my job. In all honesty, i was planning on resigning even before all pandemic-related things struck the world by surprise — being locked down, working, meeting family & friends, and coping through whatever as we stayed (still staying!) inside our homes. I didn’t resign because the circumstances convinced me that it was best to hold on and fight for the family that cared for me for five years. 

The last two months, i spent precious time for myself. A couple of weeks to not think about any matters of consequence. A couple more to fangirl, be kind of productive and accomplish adulting stuff. And more than a couple to think about what i want to do now as i marvel at all the time i have. Most times i worry that all of it will go to waste as i continue to move back and forth between serious contemplation and carefree exploration in the universe of my random interests.

Until, a friend and previous officemate offered me a freelance gig as a writer/producer for a couple of AVPs for an online event. I get to be with the people i used to work with, put in the work for only 1 week, and get to be paid a nice amount. It excited me to think that i can do what i used to do in my previous job as a freelancer. Of course, i also missed them and working with them. 

I was scared i didn’t know what to do anymore after more than a month of being jobless. But i guess it became instinct-based already after a few years of writing and producing. The project was challenging but fun. And then, we hit consecutive sleepless nights and only got 2 hours of sleep nearing crunch time. That was when it struck me, i can still do this but i think i don’t want to anymore. 

It’s not that i ended up hating the job. I sincerely enjoyed every bit of challenge and fulfillment that i got from this kind of work in the field of broadcast, branding, and marketing. I love learning and this field taught me a lot, technically and metaphorically. In life, change is constant and we have to adapt, evolve, and push forward. 

I’m at the stage of my life where i can shamelessly and proudly admit that my priorities and preferences have changed. Along with those, my dreams and goals for the present and the future followed suit. Gone are the days when i’d think that having a passion for something means not changing your mind and sticking to it no matter what, that in life, you can only be passionate on one thing. My enthusiasm, hard work, and dedication to several interests (yep, not just one) — these contribute to my passion. These are what i put in to any endeavor when i feel passionate.

I don’t regret anything or feel that i missed out on important stuff. But now, i’m realizing that i became so passionate to do well and learn lots at work that i haven’t given myself much time to pursue the interests that my heart tells me i can enjoy and be passionate about. It took me until 28 and i’m absolutely sure, it’s not too late. After all, it’s never too late at any age. 

Now, i have a list of these interests a.k.a. potential passions, and i’m ready to put in the work. I have to remind myself to not rush, take my time, and just enjoy the process of learning. Of course, i still have to be practical, earn, and save money. I’ve already thought of some freelance jobs and that’s just one of my new adventures.

Wish me luck! Hope you’re all good. ๐Ÿ€

And oh, thank you, October 2020. ๐Ÿ’•


(to self and to anyone who cares)

I really wanted to write something before October ends. I’ve got a lot of topics and realizations that i wanted to write about but they’re all making me overthink so i decided to just share about the current thoughts most accessible to me right now. Still had fun writing this one for sure.

TY for reading! ✨

Photo by Chris Lawton on Unsplash

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